Welcome!

This is my first blog (unless any of you were to count Tumblr). Not sure what to say or do, so here goes!

A little about me: I am a writer (nothing published as of yet). The genres I write are Fantasy, Horror, Mystery, Thrillers, Poetry, and children’s. I don’t particularly write eroticas or romance because I can’t take myself seriously if I was ever to write “and with one thrust, I fell in love”. Though, in the future I just might put my big girl panties on and give it a try.  I’ve been writing since about 7 years old. Started with short stories and poems. My first novel has taken me 6 years, so far, to complete.

I am 22 years old, a mother, a wife, and a writer. My other hobbies include photography, crochet, sewing, and knitting.

I have a twitter, you are welcome to follow @Ann_Auteur95

And a Tumblr to check out some of my material @ Beautifulwriter18.tumblr.com

I’ll start with Poems I believe need to be shared.

Hope you all enjoy my blog!

-T.S

 

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The Color Blue

Father always loved the color blue. He said it make him think of peace. Whenever he looked to the sky he would be in a gaze.

Father never liked the color red. He would be angry every time it met his gaze. He would lose control and become a different man.

Today my siblings and I are painting the walls in our fathers house.

Mama is no longer here. She left with a red dress with the neighbor’s son.

Now the walls are stained red.

But that’s ok, we’re painting the walls blue.

Roots

Before you read “Roots”, I want to give the back story on why/how I came up with it and what it means to me. I know each one of you will interpret it differently, and I hope you will tell me how or why you did.

Last night my anxiety was through the roof. I don’t know why because I can’t remember. I had a TBI back in 2011 and my memory erases a little every time I get a migraine. It made my depression worse and I honestly fear it because of the other symptoms I have because of it. I couldn’t sleep so I laid awake and this poem/song (I sang it as I wrote, feel free to make your own tune, I don’t mind at all.)

It’s about being ready to just give up and “pull the trigger”. That’s how I felt when it first happened. Everything was out of whack,so to speak, I almost failed tenth grade because I couldn’t remember what the lesson was an hour ago. People started treating me different, as if I were dumb or slow. So, I slumped into the shadows and rarely poked out. I was suicidal. I’m not afraid to admit that now,( and neither should any of you. Please get help.) The migraines were unbearable and I felt like a chore for my family. I had seizures and I really just wanted the pain to end, for me and my family. I got through it, obviously.

Fast forward 6 years, today, I still have them. And every symptom that has come with it. I haven’t had a seizure in 3 years and that is such a wonderful thing, but everything else is still there. I still lose memories, even the most precious ones. And it eats me inside. I often find myself pretending to remember something when an old friend/family member says “haha, you remember that, don’t you” and I shyly smile and nod.

I just recently came to terms with it all, even though it still pains me physically, emotionally, and mentally, I’m no longer letting it stop me from writing-because I did for two years.

I know it’s not the worst thing that could happen to someone. I’m not asking for any pats on the back or “You’re ok”s . But it’s still hard for me. And I don’t want to suffer alone in silence. If any of you EVER need an ear or a (virtual hug) I’m here, no matter how big or small you may think it is, I will reply.

To me, this poem/song is me coming to terms with my condition and learning I can still do what I want and know I will be okay.

So without further ado,

Roots

 Time to get back to your roots.

And feel the grass between your toes.

Finger off the trigger, don’t shoot.

It’s time to head back home where you belong.

It’s ok, don’t think you’re too far gone.

Feel the wind blowing in your hair.

And the sunshine shining in your eyes.

Smell the aroma of that sweet rose.

Baby, please don’t cry.

Time to get back to your roots.

Feel the sand beneath your feet.

Fingers off the trigger, don’t shoot.

Come back home, you’re never too far gone.

Hear those waves crashing at shore.

Feel the love we’re giving you and more.

See the light that outshines the darkness.

Because Honey, I know you can fight this.

Time to get back to your roots. 

Feel the gravel under your shoes.

You put that gun down and didn’t shoot.

You’re no longer gone.

No longer gone.

 

Much love and happy writing!

-TS

The seasons change WIP

Do you feel the grass under your feet?

The tickles you get between your toes with each step feel nostalgic.

Takes you back to when the seasons change and mother is calling for you to come inside.

But you don’t want to. It’s more free on the outside.

“You’ll catch a cold” she says but you laugh.

Because you’ve never tasted fresh fallen snow. 

As each little snowflake lines your nose your smile grows.

And the seasons change.

Spring time in a field of sunflowers. 

Your first kiss and seventeen.

Walking a path chosen so carefully.

Hair whipping to each slight breeze.

Toes wrapping around the soft green grass.

You’re happy.

Then the seasons change.

Sand under your feet.

Waves crashing gracefully.

Hair as white as that fresh fallen snow.

Eyes as bright, even though your old.

A summer with your children and theirs.

Life is blessed.

And the seasons change.

Going to revise it and put it in “Poems for Your Soul” 

Hope everyone is having a great day! 

-TS

A Box

Hey guys/gals! I know I said 3pm but I got a migraine and passed out. (Long story).

So, I always see authors/writers doing giveaways or sneak peeks and I thought maybe I could give y’all a little sneak peek of a poem that will be in “Poems for Your Soul”.

I’ve recently got a ton of followers and thought this would be a nice thing to do and helpful so people have an idea of what I write.

Also, I’ve been super busy with illustrating my children’s book, so I apologize for not posting more.

A little bit about “Poems for Your Soul”: A collection of depression, love, loss, happiness, suicide, etc poems I wrote for anyone and everyone I think may need them.
Have a great day filled with writing! Much love,

-TS
Here’s a piece of “A Box”.

A Box 

There’s a box sitting unopened in the corner.
What lies inside brings grief to the mourner.
Hope was lost and it’s trying to be found.
Silence is here; your lips can’t make a sound.

There’s a box so small, but holds something so big in it.
Secrets untold; sadness growing each passing minute.
Time ticks on, tears set in.
Is it you or the box that will win?

A Stairway, Choices

There’s a stairway leading to no where

So they say.

But I’m walking this path to see where it takes me.

Twisting in every direction, north, east, south, west.

Each step making my effort at best

To reach the top

Or bottom

There’s a secret

That few know.

Your ending is your choice

Time

Places

People

Every choice you’ve made

Is yours.

Each step represents a choice you’ve made in life.

Each heartbreak

Career

Lover

Friend

Leading to where you are now.

Twisting, going up and down

Like a rollercoaster.

Further you go, the more clear the path becomes

Finding yourself

Your passion

Your love

Your life.

Seeing the days and seeing the night.

The stairway doesn’t end until your last breath has expired.

Take it with pride.

Don’t turn back.

Carve it in mountains.

Build it over river streams.

Say hello to it in your dreams.

You can’t escape.

Just embrace it.

Look around, is it what you want?

If not, keep climbing, keep reaching, keep choosing. 

To my Love

You are the sunshine that lights my crazy life.

I’m the moon and stars that scare the shadows away at night.

You are the sea, crashing waves and all.

I’m the sand you always greet.

You are the wind spreading warmth and I the tree feeling your very breath.

You are the calm, silence of night.

And I, an owl, eyes so bright.

You are the soft flowing creek. And I your mountain peak.

You’re the calm before the storm.

I am the fast lighting and booming thunder.

You’re the island.

And I’m the water.

Always together.

Hand in hand.

Loving you always.

What a beautiful day

What a beautiful day.

Would you like to go lay in the grass with me, preferably with a blanket?

And watch as the stars gleam, and we can pretend the world is perfect?

Just for a moment, there’s peace and quiet.

And we are free to breathe.

Would you like to go for a walk?

Maybe by the river?

Talk about our love and passion that will make you shiver?

Will you come watch the midnight sky by my side?

See the moon light up the trees. 

And the stars shooting down strikingly.

Will you sit and think about how the world keeps turning?

And set your soul on fire and keep it burning?

What a beautiful day. 

Please, don’t be silent.

Please don’t be silent.

Or the monsters will win.

Let your voice be loud.                          It’s alright if it shakes.

It’s okay to be afraid, fear keeps you going.

You cant have educated people, if they’re not knowing.

Scream it out on a mountain top. Find your voice and do not stop.

Never be silent, it will not help anyone.

Be brave, be loud, stand tall.

Do everything you can, anything at all.

Just please, don’t be silent.